Listen to this:


He is handsome handsome handsome!
This song is nice nice nice!
:D

I'm going crazy,
cos you are stuck in my head.

No matter how I try to erase you over and over
my heart only searches for you
I'm only left with the wound that was made because
my hurt ached and ached
No matter how I try to erase you over and over
the only person that doesn't disappear is you
You know about this but why do you pretend you don't
Tell me why you tried to leave my side
No matter how I try to throw away those memories over and over
I can't
No matter how I try hard to forget you
My eyes only remember you
Can you think of me
at least once by someone else's side
Even if you live on
think of me sometimes
I must have really loved you
It shows through my yearning
When I looked at you leaving though you knew I love you
it was only that I forgot for a while so come back
Come back to me
I can't live without you
I still have something I want to say
No matter how I try to send you away
I don't have the confidence to
These feelings, my feelings, do you know them
Even if you love someone else
My heart only moves towards you
at least once by someone else's side
Even if you live on
think of me sometimes
No matter how I try to erase you over and over
my heart only searches for you
I'm only left with the wound that was made because
my hurt ached and ached
No matter how I try to erase you over and over
the only person that doesn't disappear is you
You know about this but why do you pretend you don't
I must have really loved you
It shows through my yearning
When I looked at you leaving though you knew I love you
it was only that I forgot for a while so come back
Come back to me
I can't live without you
I still have something I want to say

Credits(lyrics): aheeyah.com

This song is nice nice nice! :D
You do not need to like the people who sang it though -.-

I guess I really cannot take my eyes off you.
Not even for a minute.
Cos cos cos,
you know it.

Celebrated Racial Harmony Day yesterday.
Something's wrong with blogger,
I can't upload the pictures taken -.-
But it's all in facebook already.
Anyway,
that song I posted up yesterday.
Nice, ain't it?

It seems okay,
but there were times when I felt empty.
Telling myself to let go,
but I just cannot when little things you do can make me feel so warm.
Yet sometimes I just suddenly feel so empty.
It felt like my body was just a shell.
Emotions gone,
laughter gone,
everything drained out,
as if it was sucked down by gravity.
At that moment,
I was lost.
I couldn't find myself,
I don't where I am.
I just felt so empty,
very very empty.
So empty that I wish I could just collapse
and let time pass by me.
That emptiness,
how can I ever fill it up.
I realise there were times when I need to find back myself.
Because what you see sometimes is not me.
I'm just afraid,
afraid of that emptiness.

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I stopped my light footsteps and
suddenly looked at the sky
The memories of my youth
I spent those times with that blinding sun
I was shy and couldn't say anything
so I had to let go
But when I think about it now
I'm only filled with regret
The people on the streets that look busy
that look busy
they probably have have parted from a lover at least once
Are they living with their hurt buried
Are they preparing for another love
I want to go back
to the end of those blurry memories
when I was with you
I still have your image in my head
laced with sadness
I couldn't say anything
so I had to let go
But when I think about it now
I'm only filled with regrets
The people on the streets that look busy
that look busy
they probably have have parted from a lover at least once
I want to go back
to the end of those blurry memories
when I was with you
I still have your image in my head
laced with sadness

Those people on the streets
that only look busy
they probably have have parted from a lover at least once
Are they living
with their hurt buried
Are they preparing for another love
I want to go back
to the end of those blurry memories
when I was with you
I still have
your image in my head
laced with sadness

Credits(lyrics): aheeyah

Current status: Fully motivated.

Level motivated: 100%.
Level of Enthusiasm: 100%.
Progress: Ongoing.
Status: Well.

I've taken the first step,
now I'll take the second,
and then the third,
and so on.

I know there will be times when I'll get tired,
there will be times when I'll feel like giving up.
But think again: I get through this, it's mine.
Yes, it's not going to take my life,
it's only going to take up a few months of my life.
A few months out of so many years.
Where these few months is going to decide my future.

I just hope,
that I'll get the motivation,
I'll get the battery in me charged,
in times when I need it.

Cos I'm not a robot,
neither am I a superhero.
Even robots can run out of battery,
even superheroes need a break.

Friendship

It's not about being by your side every minute, every second.
Your eyes need not only see me,
and mine need not only see you.
It's not like my heart must be filled with just you,
and yours with me.
It's not like you're the only one in my world,
and I'm the only one in yours.

It's about letting each other know: I'll be there.
It's all about assuring each other.
It's about not letting each other have the feeling of being betrayed,
being let down,
and it's about holding each others' hands should any of us feel lost.
It's about giving the sense of security,
where we both know where to run to when the rain comes, or should the sky turn dark.
It's all about trust,
mutual trust,
and believing in each other.

All in all,
it's the thought that counts.
It's not about how much you put in,
how much you should expect,
how much you get back.

Words like 'best friends','friends forever','friends for life' do not matter.
All that matters is,
your heart.
朋友,只要有心就可以了.

Woken up: 100%
Level of fear: 100%
Desire: 90%

However,
Motivated level: 60-70%
Level of Enthusiasm: 60%

Still, there's something lacking,
I don't know what is it.

On a lighter note,
went out to study today.
On the way to bus stop~

L: I ask you, what kind of medicine would you want to have if you have a chance of getting it? Something that can benefit you.

Me: Medicine? For myself?

L: Yea.

Me: Erm... let me think...

L: Take your time to think, until reach home le then got answer also can.

Me: Okay...

(Moments later)

Me: Ah! I know! A medicine that can make one happy!

L: Why?

Me: Because it doesn't feel nice to be unhappy. Happiness is very important! :D

L: Okay... What if you have a second chance?

Me: Second chance?

L: Yea, second kind of medicine.

(Moments later)

Me: Ah! A medicine that can make bad people turn to good people!

L: For yourself leh, not others.

Me: Oh, okay. Let me think again.

(Moments later)

Me: I know! A medicine that can give me courage! :D

L: Oh, okay... Why didn't you think of the medicine I was thinking for you?

Me: Huh? Correct what, medicine right? 药? Can eat de?

L: Yea lah.

And off the bus L goes.

A little while later~

Message from L: Why didn't you think of getting a medicine that can make you grow taller? Don't you think that keep looking upward is a hassle? Ahahaha..

I replied: Okay. I don't mind being short now. There's such thing as high heels okay. And this not short, is petite. Petite=cute

L: Tsk.. Meiyou high de feeling.. ):

I replied: What? You ask me this is for fun de? I thought real de luh -.-

L: Yeah.. For fun de.. We nothing to do just now mah..

I replied: I thought is real de sia -.-

L: Lols.. Not for real de lah.. etc

Well, and I took that question so seriously,
thinking so damn hard -.-

Mode: Set
Mood: Set
Percentage Adapted: 50%
Progress/remarks: There's still room for improvement.

At this rate,
I going to become a robot.

Listen to this:


Even though I tell it not to go,
Even though I tell it to stop
My heart keeps going towards you
It doesn’t wear out, it doesn’t decrease
Why is my love like this

One by one, I count and count the memories
My heart can’t rest for even a moment
It’ll just become baggage that becomes hard to control
Why can’t I even throw them away

Really, my heart must have done something somehow
I must have become a fool that’s blind from love
Just one place, everyday one place
Looking at the sad light that is you
Even the tear glands must be broken
My tears won’t stop
I love only you, only you
Can’t you just tell me?

Even if I hold out my hands,
No matter how much I call out
You’re always far from me
It’ll be a love that becomes painful scars
Why can’t I erase it

Really, my heart must have done something somehow
I must have become a fool that’s blind from love
Just one place, everyday one place
Looking at the sad light that is you
Even the tear glands must be broken
My tears won’t stop
Just one word, the one phrase that you love
Can’t you just tell me?

I try to comfort myself with the lie
That I’m happy if you just smile
Because the place you’re going towards is not me
The lonely tears flow

Really, my heart must have done something somehow
I must have gone crazy over this hard love
Can’t have you, can’t forget you
Waiting for you day by day

I must have gotten ill from missing you so much
From loving you too much
Just one thing, your heart, that one thing
Can’t you just share it with me

Can’t you love me

Nervous, trembling.
Not sure if I'll succeed,
don't know if I can make it.

Dear God,
help me through this,
bring me through this path,
will you?


Switch to full mode,
it's time.

Now I know where I actually stand.
Now I know that actually I'm just not that good afterall.

I need to wake up,
I need to start.

There's no such thing as sit there and do nothing.
You want the results,
you want the satisfaction,
you pay for it.

The better the results,
the heavier the price.

I really need to focus,
cos my future is really in my hands.

Not sure, I don't know

It felt like we were back to how we used to be.
But still, I don't feel sure about it.
Perhaps I've gotten used to life when you were away.
Now you come back,
I cannot open my arms and say:Welcome back.
Though I seem so,
but I really cannot do it.

During the time when you were away,
I've learnt how to put on the shield,
and to also put it on well enough,
because I know I need to protect myself.

One day,
we'll say goodbye.
The memories we've created,
they'll be locked up somewhere.
As time goes by,
it may fall asleep,
it may never wake up.

But till that day comes,
I promise you that I'll try my best.
Try my best to spend the times we have left to the fullest,
because having regrets in life will cause pain in the future.

And I don't want that to happen.
Really, I don't want.

I just need to know

I just need to know,
if it comes from the bottom of your heart.
I just need to know if I can trust you back again.
I just need to know if we really can go back,
go back to how we used to be.

Assure me,
I don't need promise.
I just need assurance.

Childhood, lost and forgotten

Ask me what I did when I was young?
What is one thing I enjoyed doing the most?
What is the thing that I've missed the most?

Which was my favourite place in my school?
Where do I usually hang out at?
Which part of the school do I usually go to?
Which part of the school where I can be usually found at?

How was school like?
How was my childhood like?
The toys I played?
My favourite TV programme?

Most importantly,
my best friend?
my childhood friends?

All these,
so many things.
My childhood,
my past.

It's in my head,
but not very clear,
not very vivid.

The memory is inside somewhere,
fast asleep for a very long time.
So long, that I've forgotten.

As we get older and go on our separate ways,
we tend to forget each other as we spend our new lives.
Such that even if we walk past each other someday on the streets,
we may not even noticed.
Even if we had,
we might have pretended not to know each other.

What happen to our past?
We might think that it's not important anymore.
Because many things are waiting for us ahead,
as we walked down the path in life.
So many things,
so many challenges,
we might not even have to time to reminisce the past.

Because as we go on,
we find that the world is not what we used to think it is.
Not that simple,
not that carefree,
not that nice.

Where is my past?
I need to wake that memory up.
Because it's tiring being out there,
it's rather cold.
I need to get back that feeling,
of being naive and carefree.

Just a while,
let me escape back there.
Let me revisit the childhood.
Get my memories back in place,
get back the missing pages of my story.
After which,
I'll continue and face the future.

Just a while,
will do.

Afraid

Afraid to lose,
afraid to fall.

Afraid that no one will hold me when I can't stand,
afraid that no one will catch my tears if they fall.

Afraid of being left out,
afraid that one day I have to be on my own.

Afraid that no one will help me up when I fall,
or even hold me before I collapse.

So afraid,
afraid of so many things.

So afraid,
I have to be strong.

Even when I'm not,
I have to learn.
I tried hard,
I've learnt to be strong.

In times when I'm tired,
I still can't run away.

I still can't deny,

That I'm just too afraid,
that's why I have to be strong.
Even if I'm actually not,
I have to act like I am.

I hate this, really.

----------------------------------

只怪我的爱不够勇敢.
Words kept inside me,
they can suffocate me.

Yes, it's that feeling.
Besides feeling weak,
besides needing that strength,

It felt like I can't breathe.

Just too afraid, that's why I have to act strong.

Be my pillar of strength,
be my oxygen,
will you?
I don't know what came over me.
But I guess I've been putting up this brave front for too long.
Always trying so hard to be strong,
and always seem so strong,
I guess I'm tired.
So tired,
I may fall anytime.
Hold me, don't let me fall.
Cos I know it's going to be painful.

I just don't like that feeling inside me.

Sometimes I felt like giving up.
I need a strength,
I need a pillar.
I pray,
someone give me that strength.
God, I trust you.

Listen:

I like this:
(Quote)
I stand here, to find back your laughter
The painful tears from your heart
I am here to catch them all

Sad song, ain't it?
But it's nice ;D

On the other hand,
are we really back to how it was before?
I think I need to be more assured.