1 more hour

On my clock,
it says 1 more hours before 2009 ends.
I remember the beginning of the year when I dreaded at the thought of staying in that school for another year.
I was still enjoying myself for the early half of the year,
thinking that the major exams would be easy to handle and I would get over it easily.
And then, I started getting stressed up over the major exams because I couldn't even perform well for the small ones and even my class tests.
After that, I woke up really late and started to stop underestimating the major exams and began to study hard.
It wasn't until like 3 months before the major exams when I studied like I've never before.
Soon, it was the major exams.
I felt like going to a war not very well-prepared but still had that little confidence thanks to the people around me who gave me support.
After the exams,
I became so free and started job-hunting like I was so desperate for a job.
Not knowing,
it was already mid-November then.
And so, job-hunting went on unsuccessfully and I wasted like half a month.
Until early December,
job came to me and I worked until I felt like giving up.
But thanks to the company of Chua taitai that made every work pass so quickly.
Without knowing,
it was mid-December,
then came Christmas.
Thinking back sometimes would bring a smile on my face.
Thinking back about the times spent together with my peeps,
laughing and joking around like crazy people.
Prefectorial Board,
4e1.
Though sometimes I may think: How could I end up in such school?
But things like Prefectorial Board have taught me a lot.
So many that I cannot name them all.
We may have small cliques in the class,
but we share a special bond among ourselves that cannot be seen, it can only be felt.
4 years may seem short,
but life has to go on.
We have to grow up,
we need to move on.
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Thank you Clarissa Chua taitai,
for all that you've done.
I may not express it well,
but I guess you know it.
Saying that I don't like it when you disturb me,
it always comes at the right time when I need a little laugh to brighten my mood.
Saying that you're troublesome,
it means that I'll always be willing to wait for you and help you.
Saying that you're crazy,
it means that I'll always be there and be crazy with you.
There are many other things I want to thank you for,
but it seems like I'll never get to sleep if I continue and this post will get really long.

Thank you Su Myat(a.k.a Penguin),
for being by my side.
Be it Prefect/Math Club,
you never fail to be by my side and guide me through.
No matter how busy you might get,
no matter how heavy your load of work is,
you still help me in mine and never find me a nuisance.
(although maybe yes, sometimes)
But you never complain,
you still lend me a helping hand.
I'll never forget the times when we gossiped about other people,
complain to each other about people cutting our queue or staring at us.

Thank you Leonard Kang Feng Heng,
for talking to me and telling me your experiences.
Our conversations may get random sometimes,
but I do appreciate the times when you were there for me.
Thank you for hearing me out,
be it happiness, anger, sadness and all other kinds of emotions.
Even if sometimes it may seem ridiculous and childish.
Perhaps we share certain sentiments and thoughts,
it was nice talking to you and it felt like there was no gap between us.
It's been a long while,
catch up someday, shall we?
Even if it's only through MSN.

Thank you Cassandra Lim Sze Ting,
for sitting beside me in class!
And hanging out with me when I'm alone.
When I'm harsh with my words,
I'm just teaching you how life should be.
Because I don't want you to get hurt.
When I make fun of you,
I really just want to have fun with you.
When I talk about teachings in life,
when I nag at you,
it means I'm reminding you that life is never easy and at the same time I'm just hoping that you'll grow up well.
The reason I did all these is because you're like a sister to me,
I meant you well.
Thank you for making my day everyday.
Thinking back now,
there isn't a day when you didn't make me laugh.

Thank you Phoebe,
for lending us your house during the intense mugging period!
(I miss your Mio TV!)
Thank you for hanging out with me with Cassandra Lim.
Eh, when you returning me my nail strengthener?
Haha, just joking.
Keep it with you first.

Thank you Syafiqah(a.k.a gangster friend/Dog Poo) and clique,
though we weren't that close until the second half of the year,
thank you for being my classmates.
I still want to play and joke around with you guys,
laughing until we cry.
I miss sprouting lousy Korean with my gangster friend!
(Gae Toong Ah)

Thank you Keun Hee,
for teaching me Korean and telling me stupid things.
Now you're gone,
I feel so helpless when watching Korean shows sometimes.

Thank you Joni,
for getting crazy over Kim Hyun Joong, Lee Hong Ki and K-Pop with me!
Seriously,
you're far worse than me.
Because you really scream.
But I'll never forget the times when we scream and talked about Korean idols in class like nobody's business.
I'll continue to update you, don't worry!

And the list goes on and on.
There are many people I want to thank and show my appreciation to,
but the list just can't end.
Sorry if I've missed out anyone.
But, you know okay!
I know that you do know.

Nonetheless,
thank you _____,
you've taught me a lot during your days in the Prefectorial Board.
I've came so far,
I've even held the position of Vice-Head,
I guessed you've played a part in helping me get it.
Sometimes I just feel like I'm holding this position in your place,
because you didn't get the chance,
although it was originally yours.

Thank you _____,
for letting me to learn how to let go and forget.
Let me hold on for a while more,
I'll let go when the clock strikes 12.
After that,
I'll move on alone and go back to how I was before.
I'll stay that way until the next one arrives,
till then I'll live my single life to the fullest.
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After today,
when the clock strikes 12,
and when the sun rises tomorrow,
It'll be like brand new.
I guess it'll be like a brand new life.
I don't have any resolutions,
I just want to live life to the fullest.
Because you only live once.

(I don't know the title for this post)

New clothes: Checked.
New accessories: Checked.
New nail polish: Checked.
Items left: Bags and shoes.

And I also need a holiday.

Christmas, Cheated

She spent another Christmas at home, alone.
Because she was upset,
and at the same time she felt like a fool.
Thinking that all was only for her,
just like before, she was still within her circle.
Perhaps it was only her wishful thinking,
sometimes you just need to let go.
But still, she went wishing people merry christmas,
like nothing happened.
And she even replied 'Sure!' when people said to enjoy this Christmas.
But actually she cooped herself up at home,
feeling angry over her own selfishness.

But she'll be fine after a while,
because she'd learnt to be strong.
All she needs is to be left alone for a while,
and a few days later,
you'll see her smiling again.

I'll be fine after a while,
just leave me alone.

Express it? I can't

Not showing it doesn't mean I'm not concern.
Not talking about it doesn't mean I don't care.
I'm just someone who doesn't express myself as much as how you've expected.
But I would want you to have faith in me,
that I actually care.
Even if I act as if I don't know, don't care,
deep inside I actually take note of every move and reaction you make.
Looking at these and my sensitive self would start trying to make you feel better.
I just want to give people a sense of assurance and security.
It's not that I'm a boring person,
it's not that I'm always keeping quiet.
And it's not that I'm not opening myself up to other people.
I am just being careful with my words.
I don't know if my words would hurt,
or would they cause any discomfort.
I'm just afraid that I'll offend people.
I'm like this because
because,
I just want people to feel at ease when they're with me.
And also because,
I believe that silence it's the best way to give comfort.
Saying nothing and just being by their side,
sometimes it's the best medicine.
Especially in times when things really turn out bad and people don't want to talk about it.
I just want to be like that.
Always there without a sound and listening,
but at the same time cannot express herself well enough,
that's me.

Childhood, can't find

Memories, they seemed to have gone missing.
Gone with the time, my life seems like a puzzle with a missing piece.
Ask me about my childhood,
I cannot tell you much.
Ask about my childhood friends,
I cannot tell you one true one.
Ask me if I have someone whom I grew up with,
I cannot give you an answer.
Looking through those flashbacks,
it seemed like my past was not what it was supposed to be.
There were many blur images,
there were many people with no exact faces.
Sometimes I even asked myself if it even existed.
Or was it just a dream?
So long that I only wake up now?
Well, it seems like one.
Because everytime I get these flashbacks,
it all seemed like a dream to me.
I tried reminiscing the past,
but it felt empty inside.
I tried finding back the past,
the people, the places.
But it all seemed so stranger to me.
So tired of finding them back,
I rather throw them all away.
But everytime when I want to start anew,
something inside me stops me from throwing these things away.

Christmas

Finally got to rest from work starting from tomorrow.
And luckily, no work on Christmas :)
Florence loves Christmas the most :D
But this year, she wants a date.
She doesn't want to spend another Christmas alone.

Work and Sleep

Florence Lee started work this week.
First week of work and she had to work overtime.
It became so tiring and she was so not used to it that she had the thought of quitting.
Giving it a second thought,
she decided not to.
Because of money!
Earning about $60+ a day,
and overtime on Sunday alone lets her earn $80.
So, she decided to persevere on and soon got used to it.
She got used to waking up early even before the sun rises and reaching home late at night way after the sun sets.
It may be tiring but money is now motivating her.
There were times when she really wanted to give up but she perseveres on.
She has learnt that money doesn't come so easily and the best place to be at is always home.
It lies within one self to be able to adapt to changes and surroundings,
not others adapting to one self.
She realises that it is now the time for her to grow up.
End of report.
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Work can kill me,
I really need to sleep.
My only wish now is: Quickly finish the stocks so that I can have my leave~