1 more hour

On my clock,
it says 1 more hours before 2009 ends.
I remember the beginning of the year when I dreaded at the thought of staying in that school for another year.
I was still enjoying myself for the early half of the year,
thinking that the major exams would be easy to handle and I would get over it easily.
And then, I started getting stressed up over the major exams because I couldn't even perform well for the small ones and even my class tests.
After that, I woke up really late and started to stop underestimating the major exams and began to study hard.
It wasn't until like 3 months before the major exams when I studied like I've never before.
Soon, it was the major exams.
I felt like going to a war not very well-prepared but still had that little confidence thanks to the people around me who gave me support.
After the exams,
I became so free and started job-hunting like I was so desperate for a job.
Not knowing,
it was already mid-November then.
And so, job-hunting went on unsuccessfully and I wasted like half a month.
Until early December,
job came to me and I worked until I felt like giving up.
But thanks to the company of Chua taitai that made every work pass so quickly.
Without knowing,
it was mid-December,
then came Christmas.
Thinking back sometimes would bring a smile on my face.
Thinking back about the times spent together with my peeps,
laughing and joking around like crazy people.
Prefectorial Board,
4e1.
Though sometimes I may think: How could I end up in such school?
But things like Prefectorial Board have taught me a lot.
So many that I cannot name them all.
We may have small cliques in the class,
but we share a special bond among ourselves that cannot be seen, it can only be felt.
4 years may seem short,
but life has to go on.
We have to grow up,
we need to move on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you Clarissa Chua taitai,
for all that you've done.
I may not express it well,
but I guess you know it.
Saying that I don't like it when you disturb me,
it always comes at the right time when I need a little laugh to brighten my mood.
Saying that you're troublesome,
it means that I'll always be willing to wait for you and help you.
Saying that you're crazy,
it means that I'll always be there and be crazy with you.
There are many other things I want to thank you for,
but it seems like I'll never get to sleep if I continue and this post will get really long.

Thank you Su Myat(a.k.a Penguin),
for being by my side.
Be it Prefect/Math Club,
you never fail to be by my side and guide me through.
No matter how busy you might get,
no matter how heavy your load of work is,
you still help me in mine and never find me a nuisance.
(although maybe yes, sometimes)
But you never complain,
you still lend me a helping hand.
I'll never forget the times when we gossiped about other people,
complain to each other about people cutting our queue or staring at us.

Thank you Leonard Kang Feng Heng,
for talking to me and telling me your experiences.
Our conversations may get random sometimes,
but I do appreciate the times when you were there for me.
Thank you for hearing me out,
be it happiness, anger, sadness and all other kinds of emotions.
Even if sometimes it may seem ridiculous and childish.
Perhaps we share certain sentiments and thoughts,
it was nice talking to you and it felt like there was no gap between us.
It's been a long while,
catch up someday, shall we?
Even if it's only through MSN.

Thank you Cassandra Lim Sze Ting,
for sitting beside me in class!
And hanging out with me when I'm alone.
When I'm harsh with my words,
I'm just teaching you how life should be.
Because I don't want you to get hurt.
When I make fun of you,
I really just want to have fun with you.
When I talk about teachings in life,
when I nag at you,
it means I'm reminding you that life is never easy and at the same time I'm just hoping that you'll grow up well.
The reason I did all these is because you're like a sister to me,
I meant you well.
Thank you for making my day everyday.
Thinking back now,
there isn't a day when you didn't make me laugh.

Thank you Phoebe,
for lending us your house during the intense mugging period!
(I miss your Mio TV!)
Thank you for hanging out with me with Cassandra Lim.
Eh, when you returning me my nail strengthener?
Haha, just joking.
Keep it with you first.

Thank you Syafiqah(a.k.a gangster friend/Dog Poo) and clique,
though we weren't that close until the second half of the year,
thank you for being my classmates.
I still want to play and joke around with you guys,
laughing until we cry.
I miss sprouting lousy Korean with my gangster friend!
(Gae Toong Ah)

Thank you Keun Hee,
for teaching me Korean and telling me stupid things.
Now you're gone,
I feel so helpless when watching Korean shows sometimes.

Thank you Joni,
for getting crazy over Kim Hyun Joong, Lee Hong Ki and K-Pop with me!
Seriously,
you're far worse than me.
Because you really scream.
But I'll never forget the times when we scream and talked about Korean idols in class like nobody's business.
I'll continue to update you, don't worry!

And the list goes on and on.
There are many people I want to thank and show my appreciation to,
but the list just can't end.
Sorry if I've missed out anyone.
But, you know okay!
I know that you do know.

Nonetheless,
thank you _____,
you've taught me a lot during your days in the Prefectorial Board.
I've came so far,
I've even held the position of Vice-Head,
I guessed you've played a part in helping me get it.
Sometimes I just feel like I'm holding this position in your place,
because you didn't get the chance,
although it was originally yours.

Thank you _____,
for letting me to learn how to let go and forget.
Let me hold on for a while more,
I'll let go when the clock strikes 12.
After that,
I'll move on alone and go back to how I was before.
I'll stay that way until the next one arrives,
till then I'll live my single life to the fullest.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After today,
when the clock strikes 12,
and when the sun rises tomorrow,
It'll be like brand new.
I guess it'll be like a brand new life.
I don't have any resolutions,
I just want to live life to the fullest.
Because you only live once.

(I don't know the title for this post)

New clothes: Checked.
New accessories: Checked.
New nail polish: Checked.
Items left: Bags and shoes.

And I also need a holiday.

Christmas, Cheated

She spent another Christmas at home, alone.
Because she was upset,
and at the same time she felt like a fool.
Thinking that all was only for her,
just like before, she was still within her circle.
Perhaps it was only her wishful thinking,
sometimes you just need to let go.
But still, she went wishing people merry christmas,
like nothing happened.
And she even replied 'Sure!' when people said to enjoy this Christmas.
But actually she cooped herself up at home,
feeling angry over her own selfishness.

But she'll be fine after a while,
because she'd learnt to be strong.
All she needs is to be left alone for a while,
and a few days later,
you'll see her smiling again.

I'll be fine after a while,
just leave me alone.

Express it? I can't

Not showing it doesn't mean I'm not concern.
Not talking about it doesn't mean I don't care.
I'm just someone who doesn't express myself as much as how you've expected.
But I would want you to have faith in me,
that I actually care.
Even if I act as if I don't know, don't care,
deep inside I actually take note of every move and reaction you make.
Looking at these and my sensitive self would start trying to make you feel better.
I just want to give people a sense of assurance and security.
It's not that I'm a boring person,
it's not that I'm always keeping quiet.
And it's not that I'm not opening myself up to other people.
I am just being careful with my words.
I don't know if my words would hurt,
or would they cause any discomfort.
I'm just afraid that I'll offend people.
I'm like this because
because,
I just want people to feel at ease when they're with me.
And also because,
I believe that silence it's the best way to give comfort.
Saying nothing and just being by their side,
sometimes it's the best medicine.
Especially in times when things really turn out bad and people don't want to talk about it.
I just want to be like that.
Always there without a sound and listening,
but at the same time cannot express herself well enough,
that's me.

Childhood, can't find

Memories, they seemed to have gone missing.
Gone with the time, my life seems like a puzzle with a missing piece.
Ask me about my childhood,
I cannot tell you much.
Ask about my childhood friends,
I cannot tell you one true one.
Ask me if I have someone whom I grew up with,
I cannot give you an answer.
Looking through those flashbacks,
it seemed like my past was not what it was supposed to be.
There were many blur images,
there were many people with no exact faces.
Sometimes I even asked myself if it even existed.
Or was it just a dream?
So long that I only wake up now?
Well, it seems like one.
Because everytime I get these flashbacks,
it all seemed like a dream to me.
I tried reminiscing the past,
but it felt empty inside.
I tried finding back the past,
the people, the places.
But it all seemed so stranger to me.
So tired of finding them back,
I rather throw them all away.
But everytime when I want to start anew,
something inside me stops me from throwing these things away.

Christmas

Finally got to rest from work starting from tomorrow.
And luckily, no work on Christmas :)
Florence loves Christmas the most :D
But this year, she wants a date.
She doesn't want to spend another Christmas alone.

Work and Sleep

Florence Lee started work this week.
First week of work and she had to work overtime.
It became so tiring and she was so not used to it that she had the thought of quitting.
Giving it a second thought,
she decided not to.
Because of money!
Earning about $60+ a day,
and overtime on Sunday alone lets her earn $80.
So, she decided to persevere on and soon got used to it.
She got used to waking up early even before the sun rises and reaching home late at night way after the sun sets.
It may be tiring but money is now motivating her.
There were times when she really wanted to give up but she perseveres on.
She has learnt that money doesn't come so easily and the best place to be at is always home.
It lies within one self to be able to adapt to changes and surroundings,
not others adapting to one self.
She realises that it is now the time for her to grow up.
End of report.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Work can kill me,
I really need to sleep.
My only wish now is: Quickly finish the stocks so that I can have my leave~

Recent Me

Finally done with watching You're Beautiful.
And Clarissa never fails to argue that her ShinWoo is handsome.

There there, 3rd from YOUR left.
Go watch this drama,
it's worth watching.
Be careful, it's addictive.

How I missed those times.

Time flies~

7 more days and it'll be December.
After today, it'll be one more month to Christmas.
In less than 2 months, and it'll be a new year.

After that, it'll be Valentine's Day.
And then it'll be when I turn 17.

Time flies and soon I have to be on my own.

--------------------------------------------------

I've been watching drama after drama these days,
waiting for calls and crossing fingers hoping that I'll be hired.
So much so that I finally felt so empty inside and realized that Christmas is coming.

This made me even emptier than ever.
This season is a season to fall in love~

Meaningless

People say: 'Do something meaningful,make your life worthwhile.'

There also people who say: 'Don't waste time. Live your life to the fullest, because you only live once.'

There are many out there who wouldn't want to live with regrets.
Because once time passes, you cannot turn it back.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I've reached the finishing line now,
yet I don't know what to do next.

Those who were there at the side lines were trying to guide me through,
but they don't know how difficult it is.
While some others say that I deserve a break,
but actually I never wanted to waste part of my life away like this.

I was right,
I am lost.
I don't know what to do with my life,
my mind is struggling with many choices.
They were very difficult to make,
because you can never always want everything.
There are bound to be certain pros and cons,
and that's the thing that makes it difficult.

I've been lost for the past 17 days.
Should I continue,
or should I just find the easy way out and take a break?
I really don't know.

Running

I've been practicing for so long,
I never stopped.
Because at that time, targets were set.

Even in times when I felt tired,
I told myself not to give up.

Now it seems like the real race has started,
but yet I am lost.
Sometimes I don't know where I'm going,
I even doubt if I could make it.

But people at the side lines keep telling me:
"Why not? What was all those practice for?"
That gave me the strength to carry on,
but yet I lose it from time to time.

Right now I'm getting so immune to it,
I don't know where I'm running to.
The finishing line is clear,
but yet it look so unfamiliar.
I just keep on running,
until I reach the finishing line.
Till then I'll stop,
but I won't know where I am.

Selling Idol CDs

Selling Fahrenheit (飞轮海/飛輪海) CDs @ $16 each!
3rd Album(越來越愛)CD + DVD:

2nd Album(双面飛輪海)CD + DVD:
alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384604677448397794" />
1st Album(飛輪海 首張同名專輯)CD + DVD:


And Nicholas Zhang Dong Liang(張棟樑)(王子CD) at $18!
(With postcards of 5 different designs)




And lastly, Mi Lu Bing (迷路兵) Album at $16!


Need money urgently,
Meet-ups only in the west area,
Extra $2 for postage(registered).
Payment can be either by account/meet-up.
Interested, please contact me via : florence_karen@hotmail.com

I'm in love with this song~

Looking back,
thinking back.

The fun we used to have,
though we always quarrel,
though we always argue.
But that's what made up our memories.

Some of us are still keeping in touch,
even until now.

How I wish to see you all again,
because I really miss everyone.

So much that I can cry looking back in the past,
so much that I just wish you all can appear in front of me right away.

Because,
I really miss everyone very much.
Those were the days,
when we spent time together.
I will never forget:
slacking in the canteen after school,
sitting down at the monkey bars or the netball court pouring our hearts out,
playing in the hall on the stage,
ganging up together during chinese lessons,
and most importantly,
just being there for each other.
Be it in times when we argued among ourselves,
or the times when we just sit quietly close together.

I'll really never forget,
because these were the things that I appreciated,
these were the things that I promise not to forget,
and I'll treasure these memories.

If only

If only you know how I felt,
if only you know how much I missed you.

I just want you to hold me in your arms.

----------------------------------------

I was glad,
we didn't forget each other.
I was happy,
we actually stayed bonded.

I just want to say:
I really miss everyone.

You don't know how much I miss you.
You don't know how dejected I felt.

Finally,
we performed today.
Took pictures!
But blogger doesn't allow uploading
(I can't find the button)
and they're still at clarissa's.

Touching moments,
they do not last forever.
Treasure them as they come,
and keep it safe inside.
As a memory,
as a linking bridge among us.

Promise not to forget,
promise that we'll meet someday,
in a common space,
should we part one day.
I've got that space inside me already,
what about you?

-------------------------------------------

Love life,
Heal the world,
make it a better place.

Life is like an artpiece.
From the day we came into this world,
we were like a blank piece of paper.

As we grow older,
as the days passed,
we started painting on this paper our own.
We decide if it's only black and white,
or is it filled with colours.
We decide if the pictures are well organised,
or is it just a piece of messy drawing.
Once a stroke is done,
it cannot be erased.

Sometimes,
we tend to mess up our own artpiece accidentally.
And then someone came and help us amend the drawing,
turning this ugly stroke into a magnificent picture.
After that, this person leaves,
and we're on our own to complete the drawing.

Till the day we die,
we never stop drawing.
Every second, every minute, every hour, everyday.
Only until the day we die,
would be the moment when our artpiece is done.

Till then,
many people may come by and judge.
It may be good, it may be bad.
But so long as we believe in ourselves and continue drawing,
one day,
this artpiece will be appreciated.

Up till now so far,
how is your piece of drawing?

You only live life once,
and you can never turn back in time.
I don't know if I'll ever have the chance again,
I cannot say that there will be a second time.
Who knows, I might not be here tomorrow.
Or the day after tomorrow,
or anytime.
Nobody can predict,
no one can tell when.

Because you only live life once,
that's why I'm living life to its fullest starting from now.
Because you can never turn back in time,
that's why I'm giving my best shot in almost everything.

From today onwards,
I'll live life to the fullest.
I don't want to have any regrets.

Because you only live once

I guess I've finally know what it means.
I guess I'm slowly leaving my childhood.
I won't forget the past,
it'll just be deep down inside,
and never be waken up.

You'll be missed,
if one day we shall be apart.
You'll be missed,
if one day should we go on our own ways.

It's all about creating memories,
with the little amount of time we have.

I guess I'll never regret knowing you,
and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

Because you only live life once.

Good-bye, childhood.
Hello, new world

They were tears of joy, from the bottom of my heart

So far, this week:
1.Had O-level English Oral on the first day of the week.
2.The long anticipated O-level Chinese results were released today.

Always telling myself not to worry,
always telling myself not to think about it,
and always telling myself that what's done cannot be undone.

But deep down inside,
actually I do care.
It was only until the last minute before I had to face the reality,
then I realised that actually deep down inside,
I really care.

At that moment when reality came,
it was not what I expected.
At that instant,
my mind went blank,
because it was shocking.
No other words could describe the kind of feeling I had,
and soon,
it just came like that.

From there,
I finally know the true meaning of tears of joy.
From there,
I really learnt a lot.
Looking at the different facial expressions and reactions,
I realise that reality can be cruel.

Some people just had so much hope,
some people just prayed so hard.
But the higher they hope for,
the more they pray,
the deeper they believe,
the deeper they fall.

Whereas some people didn't hope too much,
some people saw it through.
When it was better than what they had expected,
that's when the tears of joy came.
It was not something within control,
it's within ourselves,
it just came like that.

Those who didn't hope too much,
and it was worse than what was expected,
it was like they've grown stronger through it,
and soon they get immune to it.

For some,
it might be another ordeal to go through,
for some,
it might be as if you can fly to the moon.

Take it as an experience,
I would say.
Feel those emotions with all your heart.
Because you lived only once.
Feel all kinds of emotions,
enjoy each and every kind of emotion,
and live life to the fullest.

Today,
I've realised that I've never felt happier in these 16 years of my life.
Today,
I've shed tears of joy.
Today,
I've realised how much I mean to you.

And just to tell you,
the text message that I've received from you,
telling me that I've done well really did touched me.
And for that,
I felt warm inside,
and I've cried over it.

You just mean so much,
even it's just a simple message,
I can feel as if I'm top of the world.

I'll take this as a motivation.
I promise you I'll work hard,
because I know if I do,
I'll make you proud.
Just like today.

I've been listening to this the whole day:


I just like the way they sing it
:D

Time is running out,
I need to go on full speed.

I'm in love with this song ;D



事情如果那麽簡單那就好了
想讓自己不見
瞬間就通通消滅
人類如果沒有心臟那就好了
受傷不會流血
悲傷也不會流淚

不需要有同類
傳染頹廢
不需要愚昧的尊嚴
不需要去偷竊你的思念
自我安慰

就讓我僞裝
我嘴角不屑
讓孤獨乘以更孤獨的兩倍
允許我保留我最後一點點特權
赦免我想念你的心碎
如果我眼神裏閃爍不屑
可能我心裏一半已經殘廢
那一半跟著你走遠了的那一天
這一半漸漸地瓦解

如果我還有一點點不屑
别想要說服我純潔的絕對
我只是世界上物種絕種的絕類
悄悄的失眠了一光年

如果我還有一點點不屑
那是我自己虛榮心在作祟
自以爲或許有一天我們會重疊
我可以再愛你第二遍

It's not as if I'm not putting in the effort.
It's just that in times when I put in the effort,
it's like no one sees it.
Ever.

You might think I'm putting in enough,
but I'm really trying hard,
why can't you ever see?

Sometimes, I just wish someone sees my effort.
I don't need compliments,
I don't need praises,
I just need someone to see it.

Just to prove it,
I'm really trying hard.
Even though at times it felt like I couldn't breathe,
even though it got tough.

I know I'm not clever,
and I don't pick up things fast.
But trust me,
I'm really trying hard.

That's the way

Went for the audition today.
Guess what, we were the only ones.
And of course,
all passed
:D

It was great,
I guess we all had fun.
The song is playing in my head now.
I want nobody, nobody but you!
I want nobody, nobody but you!

For the whole morning today,
the song is revolving around me.

I want nobody, nobody but you!
I want nobody, nobody but you!

It was fun
:D

Guess what?
4e1's going for an audition for this year's Teachers' Day celebration concert.
Yes,
it's this song we're using,
it's the dance we need to learn.
Practise starts tomorrow
:D

At that moment,
you sent sparks to me.

I may not do well enough,
but trust me.

You know how I feel.

Listen to this:

This song is cute~
and of course, it's nice :D

I can lose control of myself in front of you,
because you make me lose control.

Yes, you know it,
this kind of feeling.

I cannot get you out of my head,
I don't know why I cannot stop missing you.
My head is filled with you,
my heart is missing you.

Tell me what to do,
because I cannot get enough of you.

In my world,
it is now you, you and only you.

I guess I'm in for it this time,
kill me, somebody.

Because missing you is tough for me.

That's just life

There were times when you get angry,
there were times when you didn't feel happy.

There were also times when you quarreled,
there were also times when you had your arguments.

The worst scenarios were when you accuse people of something,
and things got so unhappy and upset that it was difficult to break the ice and talk back to each other again.

But that was what I saw you did today.
You pretended that nothing happened,
you pretended that everything was alright.
I do not know if you had made the effort to apologise,
because I think there's really a need to.

I am just judging from what I see, hear and feel.
Perhaps I wasn't right afterall.
But my opinion is,
you didn't have to do that in the first place.
Because friends ought to have mutual trust.

Well, some people put on a mask to hide their true self,
for certain reasons.
But the world's getting more and more complicated,
if only it can get a little more simpler,
if only emotions can be not so complicated.

有些人
就是那么的虚假
如果这个世界能够简单一点
那该有多好

Not thinking about it,
not pinning high hopes,
not wishing that I'll do well or what.

Because I know that the more I wish for,
the higher hopes I pin,
I fall from a greater height,
the more hurt I'll get.

Though I try hard not to think about it,
but deep inside I do mind.
I guess I'll just keep my fingers crossed,
and get through it.

Listen to this:


He is handsome handsome handsome!
This song is nice nice nice!
:D

I'm going crazy,
cos you are stuck in my head.

No matter how I try to erase you over and over
my heart only searches for you
I'm only left with the wound that was made because
my hurt ached and ached
No matter how I try to erase you over and over
the only person that doesn't disappear is you
You know about this but why do you pretend you don't
Tell me why you tried to leave my side
No matter how I try to throw away those memories over and over
I can't
No matter how I try hard to forget you
My eyes only remember you
Can you think of me
at least once by someone else's side
Even if you live on
think of me sometimes
I must have really loved you
It shows through my yearning
When I looked at you leaving though you knew I love you
it was only that I forgot for a while so come back
Come back to me
I can't live without you
I still have something I want to say
No matter how I try to send you away
I don't have the confidence to
These feelings, my feelings, do you know them
Even if you love someone else
My heart only moves towards you
at least once by someone else's side
Even if you live on
think of me sometimes
No matter how I try to erase you over and over
my heart only searches for you
I'm only left with the wound that was made because
my hurt ached and ached
No matter how I try to erase you over and over
the only person that doesn't disappear is you
You know about this but why do you pretend you don't
I must have really loved you
It shows through my yearning
When I looked at you leaving though you knew I love you
it was only that I forgot for a while so come back
Come back to me
I can't live without you
I still have something I want to say

Credits(lyrics): aheeyah.com

This song is nice nice nice! :D
You do not need to like the people who sang it though -.-

I guess I really cannot take my eyes off you.
Not even for a minute.
Cos cos cos,
you know it.

Celebrated Racial Harmony Day yesterday.
Something's wrong with blogger,
I can't upload the pictures taken -.-
But it's all in facebook already.
Anyway,
that song I posted up yesterday.
Nice, ain't it?

It seems okay,
but there were times when I felt empty.
Telling myself to let go,
but I just cannot when little things you do can make me feel so warm.
Yet sometimes I just suddenly feel so empty.
It felt like my body was just a shell.
Emotions gone,
laughter gone,
everything drained out,
as if it was sucked down by gravity.
At that moment,
I was lost.
I couldn't find myself,
I don't where I am.
I just felt so empty,
very very empty.
So empty that I wish I could just collapse
and let time pass by me.
That emptiness,
how can I ever fill it up.
I realise there were times when I need to find back myself.
Because what you see sometimes is not me.
I'm just afraid,
afraid of that emptiness.

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

I stopped my light footsteps and
suddenly looked at the sky
The memories of my youth
I spent those times with that blinding sun
I was shy and couldn't say anything
so I had to let go
But when I think about it now
I'm only filled with regret
The people on the streets that look busy
that look busy
they probably have have parted from a lover at least once
Are they living with their hurt buried
Are they preparing for another love
I want to go back
to the end of those blurry memories
when I was with you
I still have your image in my head
laced with sadness
I couldn't say anything
so I had to let go
But when I think about it now
I'm only filled with regrets
The people on the streets that look busy
that look busy
they probably have have parted from a lover at least once
I want to go back
to the end of those blurry memories
when I was with you
I still have your image in my head
laced with sadness

Those people on the streets
that only look busy
they probably have have parted from a lover at least once
Are they living
with their hurt buried
Are they preparing for another love
I want to go back
to the end of those blurry memories
when I was with you
I still have
your image in my head
laced with sadness

Credits(lyrics): aheeyah

Current status: Fully motivated.

Level motivated: 100%.
Level of Enthusiasm: 100%.
Progress: Ongoing.
Status: Well.

I've taken the first step,
now I'll take the second,
and then the third,
and so on.

I know there will be times when I'll get tired,
there will be times when I'll feel like giving up.
But think again: I get through this, it's mine.
Yes, it's not going to take my life,
it's only going to take up a few months of my life.
A few months out of so many years.
Where these few months is going to decide my future.

I just hope,
that I'll get the motivation,
I'll get the battery in me charged,
in times when I need it.

Cos I'm not a robot,
neither am I a superhero.
Even robots can run out of battery,
even superheroes need a break.

Friendship

It's not about being by your side every minute, every second.
Your eyes need not only see me,
and mine need not only see you.
It's not like my heart must be filled with just you,
and yours with me.
It's not like you're the only one in my world,
and I'm the only one in yours.

It's about letting each other know: I'll be there.
It's all about assuring each other.
It's about not letting each other have the feeling of being betrayed,
being let down,
and it's about holding each others' hands should any of us feel lost.
It's about giving the sense of security,
where we both know where to run to when the rain comes, or should the sky turn dark.
It's all about trust,
mutual trust,
and believing in each other.

All in all,
it's the thought that counts.
It's not about how much you put in,
how much you should expect,
how much you get back.

Words like 'best friends','friends forever','friends for life' do not matter.
All that matters is,
your heart.
朋友,只要有心就可以了.

Woken up: 100%
Level of fear: 100%
Desire: 90%

However,
Motivated level: 60-70%
Level of Enthusiasm: 60%

Still, there's something lacking,
I don't know what is it.

On a lighter note,
went out to study today.
On the way to bus stop~

L: I ask you, what kind of medicine would you want to have if you have a chance of getting it? Something that can benefit you.

Me: Medicine? For myself?

L: Yea.

Me: Erm... let me think...

L: Take your time to think, until reach home le then got answer also can.

Me: Okay...

(Moments later)

Me: Ah! I know! A medicine that can make one happy!

L: Why?

Me: Because it doesn't feel nice to be unhappy. Happiness is very important! :D

L: Okay... What if you have a second chance?

Me: Second chance?

L: Yea, second kind of medicine.

(Moments later)

Me: Ah! A medicine that can make bad people turn to good people!

L: For yourself leh, not others.

Me: Oh, okay. Let me think again.

(Moments later)

Me: I know! A medicine that can give me courage! :D

L: Oh, okay... Why didn't you think of the medicine I was thinking for you?

Me: Huh? Correct what, medicine right? 药? Can eat de?

L: Yea lah.

And off the bus L goes.

A little while later~

Message from L: Why didn't you think of getting a medicine that can make you grow taller? Don't you think that keep looking upward is a hassle? Ahahaha..

I replied: Okay. I don't mind being short now. There's such thing as high heels okay. And this not short, is petite. Petite=cute

L: Tsk.. Meiyou high de feeling.. ):

I replied: What? You ask me this is for fun de? I thought real de luh -.-

L: Yeah.. For fun de.. We nothing to do just now mah..

I replied: I thought is real de sia -.-

L: Lols.. Not for real de lah.. etc

Well, and I took that question so seriously,
thinking so damn hard -.-

Mode: Set
Mood: Set
Percentage Adapted: 50%
Progress/remarks: There's still room for improvement.

At this rate,
I going to become a robot.

Listen to this:


Even though I tell it not to go,
Even though I tell it to stop
My heart keeps going towards you
It doesn’t wear out, it doesn’t decrease
Why is my love like this

One by one, I count and count the memories
My heart can’t rest for even a moment
It’ll just become baggage that becomes hard to control
Why can’t I even throw them away

Really, my heart must have done something somehow
I must have become a fool that’s blind from love
Just one place, everyday one place
Looking at the sad light that is you
Even the tear glands must be broken
My tears won’t stop
I love only you, only you
Can’t you just tell me?

Even if I hold out my hands,
No matter how much I call out
You’re always far from me
It’ll be a love that becomes painful scars
Why can’t I erase it

Really, my heart must have done something somehow
I must have become a fool that’s blind from love
Just one place, everyday one place
Looking at the sad light that is you
Even the tear glands must be broken
My tears won’t stop
Just one word, the one phrase that you love
Can’t you just tell me?

I try to comfort myself with the lie
That I’m happy if you just smile
Because the place you’re going towards is not me
The lonely tears flow

Really, my heart must have done something somehow
I must have gone crazy over this hard love
Can’t have you, can’t forget you
Waiting for you day by day

I must have gotten ill from missing you so much
From loving you too much
Just one thing, your heart, that one thing
Can’t you just share it with me

Can’t you love me

Nervous, trembling.
Not sure if I'll succeed,
don't know if I can make it.

Dear God,
help me through this,
bring me through this path,
will you?


Switch to full mode,
it's time.

Now I know where I actually stand.
Now I know that actually I'm just not that good afterall.

I need to wake up,
I need to start.

There's no such thing as sit there and do nothing.
You want the results,
you want the satisfaction,
you pay for it.

The better the results,
the heavier the price.

I really need to focus,
cos my future is really in my hands.

Not sure, I don't know

It felt like we were back to how we used to be.
But still, I don't feel sure about it.
Perhaps I've gotten used to life when you were away.
Now you come back,
I cannot open my arms and say:Welcome back.
Though I seem so,
but I really cannot do it.

During the time when you were away,
I've learnt how to put on the shield,
and to also put it on well enough,
because I know I need to protect myself.

One day,
we'll say goodbye.
The memories we've created,
they'll be locked up somewhere.
As time goes by,
it may fall asleep,
it may never wake up.

But till that day comes,
I promise you that I'll try my best.
Try my best to spend the times we have left to the fullest,
because having regrets in life will cause pain in the future.

And I don't want that to happen.
Really, I don't want.

I just need to know

I just need to know,
if it comes from the bottom of your heart.
I just need to know if I can trust you back again.
I just need to know if we really can go back,
go back to how we used to be.

Assure me,
I don't need promise.
I just need assurance.

Childhood, lost and forgotten

Ask me what I did when I was young?
What is one thing I enjoyed doing the most?
What is the thing that I've missed the most?

Which was my favourite place in my school?
Where do I usually hang out at?
Which part of the school do I usually go to?
Which part of the school where I can be usually found at?

How was school like?
How was my childhood like?
The toys I played?
My favourite TV programme?

Most importantly,
my best friend?
my childhood friends?

All these,
so many things.
My childhood,
my past.

It's in my head,
but not very clear,
not very vivid.

The memory is inside somewhere,
fast asleep for a very long time.
So long, that I've forgotten.

As we get older and go on our separate ways,
we tend to forget each other as we spend our new lives.
Such that even if we walk past each other someday on the streets,
we may not even noticed.
Even if we had,
we might have pretended not to know each other.

What happen to our past?
We might think that it's not important anymore.
Because many things are waiting for us ahead,
as we walked down the path in life.
So many things,
so many challenges,
we might not even have to time to reminisce the past.

Because as we go on,
we find that the world is not what we used to think it is.
Not that simple,
not that carefree,
not that nice.

Where is my past?
I need to wake that memory up.
Because it's tiring being out there,
it's rather cold.
I need to get back that feeling,
of being naive and carefree.

Just a while,
let me escape back there.
Let me revisit the childhood.
Get my memories back in place,
get back the missing pages of my story.
After which,
I'll continue and face the future.

Just a while,
will do.

Afraid

Afraid to lose,
afraid to fall.

Afraid that no one will hold me when I can't stand,
afraid that no one will catch my tears if they fall.

Afraid of being left out,
afraid that one day I have to be on my own.

Afraid that no one will help me up when I fall,
or even hold me before I collapse.

So afraid,
afraid of so many things.

So afraid,
I have to be strong.

Even when I'm not,
I have to learn.
I tried hard,
I've learnt to be strong.

In times when I'm tired,
I still can't run away.

I still can't deny,

That I'm just too afraid,
that's why I have to be strong.
Even if I'm actually not,
I have to act like I am.

I hate this, really.

----------------------------------

只怪我的爱不够勇敢.
Words kept inside me,
they can suffocate me.

Yes, it's that feeling.
Besides feeling weak,
besides needing that strength,

It felt like I can't breathe.

Just too afraid, that's why I have to act strong.

Be my pillar of strength,
be my oxygen,
will you?
I don't know what came over me.
But I guess I've been putting up this brave front for too long.
Always trying so hard to be strong,
and always seem so strong,
I guess I'm tired.
So tired,
I may fall anytime.
Hold me, don't let me fall.
Cos I know it's going to be painful.

I just don't like that feeling inside me.

Sometimes I felt like giving up.
I need a strength,
I need a pillar.
I pray,
someone give me that strength.
God, I trust you.

Listen:

I like this:
(Quote)
I stand here, to find back your laughter
The painful tears from your heart
I am here to catch them all

Sad song, ain't it?
But it's nice ;D

On the other hand,
are we really back to how it was before?
I think I need to be more assured.

Firstly,
I want to thank Cassandra for that encouragement you gave today.
I don't know why but I just suddenly talked to you about my dreams today.
It just came out from me and I just wanted to tell you.
Perhaps you're the one who never look down on me,
perhaps you're the only one who'll never laugh about it.
No matter what I decide,
I can be assured and I know you'll encourage me, you'll advise me.
Whatever it is,
thanks for the encouragement and advise you gave me.
You really motivated me,
really.


Secondly,
I miss you.
I just can't get enough of you.
You're occupying my head,
sometimes it's painful,
it's irritating.
Please, get out.
If not,
tell me what can I do.
Say you'll be there?
Well, I'm not sure,
unless you assure me,
unless you make me feel secured.

Listen to this:

Song title: 说说
By: Lollipop

Lyrics here:
下课钟声回到耳边
沈默夕阳倒映我脸
互传纸条的那画面
消失般那光线

秋天气息感染树叶
泛黄照片还放桌前
操场上的那些麻雀
随枫叶分飞

我们曾经说好的幸福永远
一直藏在书包的拉鍊
多麼希望回到那年
我们写的诗篇

好想听你说说爱我
好想听你说说想我
这些年 你有没有 曾经想起过我
好想对你说说爱你
好想对你说说想你
这些年 你知不知 我常想念著你
想念著你

好想听你说说爱我
好想听你说说想我
这些年 你有没有 曾经想起过我
好想对你说说爱你
好想对你说说想你
这些年 你知不知 脑袋里装的全都是你
全都是你

搜索著 我的感受
心里话 全说出口

好想听你说说爱我
好想听你说说想我
这些年 你有没有 曾经想起过我
好想对你说说爱你
好想对你说说想你
这些年 你知不知 脑袋里装的全都是你
全都是你

听你说 说多爱我
听你说 说想我
谢谢你 曾经陪著我
说著我们幸福 的经过


It's nice nice nice!
I've been listening to it the whole afternoon.
Yes, whole afternoon!
Even now I'm blogging,
I'm listening to it ;D

And today's breaking news:
Michael Jackson passed away.
Rest in peace,
may god be with you.

My dream,
it may seem small.

I can feel my own passion,
I just want to do what I want.
I don't want to have regrets in my life,
I just want your support in whatever I do.
And no matter what I become,
I just want your fullest support.
That's all I ask from you,
and I promise you I'll work hard.
Cos that's my dream,
that's what I want.

I'll pursue it,
I'll go for it.

I'm just a girl with big dreams.
It may seem ridiculous,
I dare not say it out loud.
But I'm going to pursue it,
I'm going to work hard for it.

My passion for it is growing,
I can't control it.
I know now it's not the time,
but I just can't help it.

Hello Earthlings!
Due to the cancellation of lessons,
yes, I stayed home today.
It'll be the same for tomorrow and Friday.
It will be staying home and having pao mians;D
Which means,
I'll be able to finish watching Absolute Boyfriend within these two days.
Yes, its currently broadcasting on Channel U.
That Japanese show about the robot boyfriend.
It's super cute~

Anyways,
take a look at this:

Ain't they nice?
Boyband: SS501(Double-S 501)
In the picture,starting from your left: Park Jung Min, Kim Kyu Jong, Kim Hyun Joong(Leader), Heo Young Saeng, Kim Hyung Joon(Lead Vocal)
Yes, they are the ones who contributed a couple of songs to the Boys Over Flower OST.
They are so cute~
Alright, it's because I don't really have much to blog about here,
that's why I saying all these.
I just find that actually they are not bad.
Okay, byebye.


最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息

想念如果会有声音
不愿那是悲伤的哭泣
事到如今终於让自已属於我自已
只剩眼泪还骗不过自己
A small quote from a song by 五月天:突然好想你
It's a nice song, go listen ;D

Security

Bridging ends today.
Suddenly.
After a wonderful experience of sitting at one of the benches opposite Prime at central eating cup nooodles with Clarissa, ShiangMin Twin,Peiying and Wanfei,
we went back to school and Rashidaa told us that there will be no more lessons for the rest of the week.
Well, honestly speaking, because it was Rashidaa telling us,
so I didn't really believe that.
Hahaa, sorry.

Anyway,
I'll try and post interesting stuff happening everyday,
But not always.
Cos I think typing out what every single thing you did everyday makes no difference to writing a report of your daily life.
Oh, it's confirmed,
No extended holidays.
Which means first day of school is Maths paper.
I hope I do well.


Even though I put a smile on my face,
it does not mean I'm happy.
Putting on a mask everyday,
There are times when I get tired.
There were times when I wished I could have someone whom I can face,
where I can take down all the shield,
and just be pampered and loved,
like a child,
as innocent and pure.
With no worries, safe and secured.
I wish....
How I wish,
I can have someone like that.
I guess I just need security.

Yes, today is Junpyo's Birthday!

Yes yes, this person up there!
Real name: Lee Min Ho
Cast in Boys Over Flower as Gu Junpyo;
Look nicer in straight hair, isn't it?
Anyway, Happy 22nd Birthday to him.
Clarissa and I suddenly shouted out it was his birthday in class today.
And Marzie was like 'Wa, Florence!'

Yes, rather embarrassing though.
It was just another crazy act of mine.
And now, messaging and telling Clarissa that I climbed out of bed and type this post.
Cos it's junpyo's birthday.
She's scolding me crazy -.-
Yes, and that makes her a friend of someone crazy.
Hahaa :D

Oh, a gift from Clarissa!

Isn't it cute?
I love it! ;D

Spent the whole time in school with Clarissa today.
She really drives me crazy and gets me laughing -.-


Showing me so much care and concern,
You are the first in my life.
All these days I've lived in darkness,
until my heart went dead.
Because of the unhappy past I had when I was young,
I lived alone and I felt cold.
It was cruel out there,
and I didn't had a shelter.
Now you bring light to me,
you're letting my heart come back to life.
I'm thankful for that,
but please don't do that.
Cos I don't know what will happen,
I'm afraid...
I know what you see me as,
but I'm just afraid,
that I'll see you more than just a friend.
And I don't want to get hurt again.
Cos I've gone through it before,
It was painful.
Too painful too bear,
and it wasn't easy.

Another Day

Another stay-home day
And guess what?
I created a theme for Clarissa pengyou.
Yes, her beloved Kim Bum.
Hahaha, hoped she likes it ;D


Life's really changing.
But I don't know when it'll be back to normal.
Back to how it used to be,
stranded alone, nowhere.
Forgotten, and always in silence.
I need time, give me time.
Before I get used to this.
Before I get used to having you around me,
your smile, your kindness, your concern, your laughter.
Though I'm afraid you'll leave me again,
I just want to spend my life to the fullest,
I don't want to have any regrets.
No matter how hurt I'll get in the end,
no matter how many scars will be left behind,
I'll take it as a learning point in life.

But my heart's been dead for a long time.
I'm used to leaving out happiness and companion in my life.
Now you come back and bring it to life,
please give me time.
Promise me that you don't give up,
and I'll promise you that I'll work hard together with you.

Just, give me time.

Today was stay-home day.
Yes, stayed home the whole day, had tuition and all.
And I must say,
A-math can kill me.

Anyway,
finally helped Sumyat created her Lee Min-ho theme.
Yay ;D
So, 1 more BOF one to go~
Hahaha, if only I can be as good as how I am in making themes for my studies.
How great that would be.

Life's changing slowly,
People around, how they treat me.
Sorry, I need time to adjust.
But thanks, for the changes.


Are we back to how we used to be?
But sorry, I don't know if I can trust you.
Cos I don't know when you'll leave me again.
Nevertheless, if we're back like before,
I'll be more than happy.
Just that, don't expect too much,
Cos I've learnt to put on a shield,
I've learnt not to trust too much.
And all these,
were what you've taught me the last time.

Went for Bio lesson today,
and promised Sumyat a Lee Min Ho theme.
(I haven't start on it yet though)

Anyway,
I just did a good deed today.
Haha,
I comforted Cassandra today.
Well, it's just something that humans need to learn in their life.
True friends wouldn't mind and detest you because of your weaknesses,
those that did might be blinded by immaturity, I would say.

Whatever it is,
Cheer up, okay?

And, I just did a test on Facebook.
My soulmate would be someone CARING.

Yes, caring.

Library Day

Went to the library with Clarissa!
And also managed to finish all the Physic Papers.

Then, had lunch at Kopitiam.
After that, walked around
talked a lot.
That's how I spent another day.

Soulmate

Soulmate.

I want one too.

Someone tell me what it's all about.

Memory

Watch this, and listen to the song:

I like this sentence:'这样不公平 请你整理 把我忘记'
I listened to it this afternoon,
as in really listened.
Suddenly I thought about what will happen if I die one day?
What if I really stop breathing one day?
Then the questions came into my mind:
What will be my greatest regret?
Who would I want to see for the last time?
What will happen to those around me when I'm not around?

如果有一天
我真的停止了呼吸
请不要为我哭泣
因为这代表我已经到了天国
幸运的话,我也许会化成天使
守护着你们
哭,那时一定要的
但请不要忘记
生活还是要继续
我宁愿被忘记
也不要看见你们为我伤心
这样不公平 请你整理 把我忘记

I just suddenly have this thought,
and I suddenly just had this feeling;

It's not that bad to be alone afterall,
though sometimes I yearn for it,
though sometimes I wished I could have you.
But sometimes, I just want the pain to go away,
I just want to be alone.
I want freedom.

Free from the pain,
Get you out of my head.
But till the end of time,
I still want you.

When two people fall in love,
they need not see each other everyday,
they need not talk to each other everyday.
Even if it's just by each others' side,
quietly,
just enjoying each others' company.
安静的力量
It's just beautiful.

It's crazy.
I'm getting crazy.

Er, this is so random,
I climb out of bed just to type this.
And I feel like expressing it out.

Getting back on track

Life's getting back on track,
starting to listen to the songs I used to listen,
seems like the break is almost over.

Math is driving me crazy -.-

Hello!
I'm trying to keep this blog alive,
so no matter what,
I'll try to blog as often as I can okay?

Well, received a feedback today saying that I shouldn't have put Kim Hyun Joong and introduce him to my readers.
Instead, I should be putting up this:

Yes, it's this Mister over here!
Mr Leonard Kang
2 years older than me
I call him Laoda, Dashixiong, Leonard and many more!
A great person whom I joked, crapped, talked to and never got angry with me,
Not even once!
But he just told me that he gets angry easily(another xiaoqigui) -.-
This person has also seen many sides of me in my life as a young little girl!
Overall, he's niceeeee :D
Okay, end of report.

Suddenly, I want to say this:
'Gomapta, nae gyotae momullochoso'
To all who've helped me in my life in one way or another.

Okay, previous post was just a test.
Anyways,
Just got that sudden thought of getting a blog through Blogger.
So, currently I really don't know what to blog about..

Oh, I've been listening to korean songs lately.
Kim Hyun Joong is HANDSOME!

Yes, it's him!
Leader of a korean group:SS501
Acted in Boys Over Flower as Yoon Ji Hoo
Overall, a very cute guy who speaks very randomly and does very funny things,
Totally different from his character in Boys Over Flower,
Very, very cute!
Hahahaha, his solo is also nice!

go listen okay? :D
P.S It's Hyun Joong's 23th B'day today.

Hello

Hello Earthlings! :D