They were tears of joy, from the bottom of my heart

So far, this week:
1.Had O-level English Oral on the first day of the week.
2.The long anticipated O-level Chinese results were released today.

Always telling myself not to worry,
always telling myself not to think about it,
and always telling myself that what's done cannot be undone.

But deep down inside,
actually I do care.
It was only until the last minute before I had to face the reality,
then I realised that actually deep down inside,
I really care.

At that moment when reality came,
it was not what I expected.
At that instant,
my mind went blank,
because it was shocking.
No other words could describe the kind of feeling I had,
and soon,
it just came like that.

From there,
I finally know the true meaning of tears of joy.
From there,
I really learnt a lot.
Looking at the different facial expressions and reactions,
I realise that reality can be cruel.

Some people just had so much hope,
some people just prayed so hard.
But the higher they hope for,
the more they pray,
the deeper they believe,
the deeper they fall.

Whereas some people didn't hope too much,
some people saw it through.
When it was better than what they had expected,
that's when the tears of joy came.
It was not something within control,
it's within ourselves,
it just came like that.

Those who didn't hope too much,
and it was worse than what was expected,
it was like they've grown stronger through it,
and soon they get immune to it.

For some,
it might be another ordeal to go through,
for some,
it might be as if you can fly to the moon.

Take it as an experience,
I would say.
Feel those emotions with all your heart.
Because you lived only once.
Feel all kinds of emotions,
enjoy each and every kind of emotion,
and live life to the fullest.

Today,
I've realised that I've never felt happier in these 16 years of my life.
Today,
I've shed tears of joy.
Today,
I've realised how much I mean to you.

And just to tell you,
the text message that I've received from you,
telling me that I've done well really did touched me.
And for that,
I felt warm inside,
and I've cried over it.

You just mean so much,
even it's just a simple message,
I can feel as if I'm top of the world.

I'll take this as a motivation.
I promise you I'll work hard,
because I know if I do,
I'll make you proud.
Just like today.